I find myself angry at the shallow empty behavior of people. I find myself hurt at the selfish and unreasonably cruel actions of the few. I find myself wanting to scream at them, is this who you are? is this how you choose to be? are these actions truly you?

and then I find myself questioning my own decisions. I find myself filled with doubt and insecurities. I find myself, having absorbed so much of the pain of others, unable to find my own release and now I am lashing out, cruel and unrecognizable.

I find that I can no longer laugh.

and then suddenly I realize that I cannot find myself at all.